Is being misunderstood a compliment?

A dear friend recently told me she thought one of the best things about me is I'm okay with being misunderstood. I had to ponder this one a bit. Then I wondered why, or where did this originate? It makes sense. We're taught conformity at a young age. We want to fit in. Most of us in the Gen X demographic have Baby Boomers for parents.

Google tells me Baby Boomers was the largest generation until 2020. They were the post Great Depression and World War II babies. It was a time of prosperity. Few women worked. Being a housewife was the goal for many women, which isn't a bad thing. They had traditional values. It was the birth of suburbia. I think somewhere along the way kids were taught conformity is good. Being different is bad. And when I say different, I'm not talking about criminality or deviance. Of course, that brings up another good question. What is considered deviant?

Webster's says deviance is "differing from a norm or from the accepted standards of society." Therein lies the crux of the issue. What are accepted standards of society? If everyone is watching "Happy Days" or "Leave it to Beaver" on television then wearing a leather jacket, saying 'Ayyy' and riding a motorcycle could be considered deviant. It was rare to see a lady not wearing a poodle skirt or cardigan.

The first person I remember being differently abled on television was Geri Jewell. She played Geri Tyler, Blair's cousin with Cerebral Palsy, on the television show "The Facts of Life." I applaud the writers for adding her circa 1980, but I looked it up. She was in 12 of the 201 episodes that aired on the beloved show. She was different.

Some of us grew up with parents who religiously watched "M.A.S.H." They gave us exposure to Jamie Farr, the beloved Corporal Maxwell Klinger. Everyone thought it was odd he dressed as a woman, but it was common knowledge he was trying to gain a psychiatric discharge from the Army. Supposedly, it was a stunt. That's how it was justified. It wasn't like anyone thought he might have liked wearing dresses. That would be deviant.

When did society decide it was okay to be different without explanation? Full Stop. I don't know that it's ever been the norm, because if it was the norm then everyone would do it. Just look at fashion trends. They start out unique and original. Then gain traction with popularity and the next thing you know everyone is wearing the latest fad. Think of parachute pants, for goodness sake.

After having time to reflect, I realized my friend meant I was okay with being different without an explanation. I know people see me with a nasal cannula and then see videos of me dancing and don't understand. Finally, I've grown to realize I'm okay with that. Those closest to me know I only have one lung and am harassed by doctors to wear my 02 all the time. I have danced with a portable oxygen concentrator before and let me tell you it was f*%#ing hard. Much harder than getting winded for 90 plus seconds. Talk about having to focus on balance. I could just stay home and stay on 02 all the time, or carry the extra 10 pounds of the POC on my back, but I choose not to. When I need it I use it. Simple as that. I guess the misunderstanding comes because I don't preface every post, video or even introduction with why I use O2. I LOVE and relish when someone feels confident enough to ask me about it. How else will people learn about differences? And, truly, I don't want anyone to befriend me because of my pulmonary abilities; however, I don't want to be introduced as the one-lunged person either. We're all different.

Ideally, if "The Facts of Life" were on today, Blair shouldn't have to explain why her cousin walks a little different. Nor should Clinger have to justify wearing a dress. What if they were just themselves with no explanation? Personally, I'm intrigued by people's differences. As my daughter Hope says, "Being normal is overrated." I couldn't agree more. It's only taken me 54 years to realize it's okay to be misunderstood. It's a compliment. I would even dare say if you're misunderstood without explanation then you're definitely my definition of badass. Full stop.