Do Soulmates Exist?

A couple of years ago Hope gave me a book titled, "Mom, I want to hear your story." It's a workbook that essentially asks me questions about everything from my childhood to my current beliefs. I've been slowly working on it here and there. This week there was a question asking me if I believe in soulmates. And if so, why.

Oh, yeah, there are some deep questions in this workbook, but it got me thinking and asking myself to consider what I do think about soulmates. Quite honestly, when I hear the word soulmate I don't see it with a romantic connotation. Don't get me wrong. Romance is important, but I think a soulmate goes much deeper. When I think of soulmate, I think of kinship or an instant attraction to someone. And I'm not talking about a physical attraction. I'm talking about when you meet someone and feel like you've known them your whole life. Or someone whose energy is just intoxicating...so intoxicating that you want to be in their world. Sometimes when you meet someone it just feels like they get you. There's no work. No pettiness. No anger because someone didn't text back. It's just magical when you're together. All positive. No negativity. This is also the type of person you can go years without seeing and call out of the blue and you pick up right where you left off. There is no doubt that I have this kind of relationship with most of my college roommates, but after college it becomes harder to make those kinds of connections with people in the real world.

I've lived in four different states in my lifetime and I did have a couple of neighbors in Virginia I connected with... or felt that kinship so to speak. It was because of those very women it was hard for me to relocate to Arizona; however, I wasn't happy with myself back then. Health issues plagued my life and it was hard to connect with others when I didn't feel well, myself.

Here in the desert my health improved. And I got the wild hair to try a dance class. Any words I can muster to describe this community will be grossly inadequate. It truly was magical. There were women from all walks of life, all stages and ages coming together just to express themselves through dance. I had zero dance experience, but was welcomed anyway. Initially, I went periodically, but each time I came back there was no guilt or cliquiness. They were just happy to see me. Within the last three years, I don't think any of these ladies ever asked what I did for a living, or if I even did anything. They would smile, give me a hug and say welcome back. There were no hard feelings for not reaching out in the interim.

Most of us have had friends or family who get angry over us not acting or doing what they think we should be doing. They have expectations. That's a lot of work for a friendship, Who wants to deal with that? What if you could just walk in a room and everyone is thrilled to see you. No questions ask? Wouldn't that make you want to keep coming back? How many unwelcoming rooms have you entered? You probably chose not to enter them again.

What does this have to do with soulmates? I think it has everything to do with soulmates. Maybe that instant recognition when you meet someone is your sign. I'm talking about feeling someone gets you to your core. They understand you and more importantly except you as is. I have found a whole community of these beautiful souls in dance. They don't care who my husband is, or how much money I have or even where I came from. They only want to dance with me. These women make me a better person. I'm happier and as a result I'm a better wife and mother.

Recently, I learned that one of the first women I met in dance is moving. Her name is Annie. When I first met Annie, she seemed larger than life. Always happy. Always confident and most importantly, always kind. We don't see each other often. She doesn't come to dance as much as she used to. Initially she was at every class I attended. We've stayed in touch and I know she's had other things going on in her life, but it's often comforting to just know someone is nearby - whether you see them or not. Over the last couple of years, when I have seen Annie, it was like nothing had changed. Like we never quit dancing. She's one of those people who could show up at my house at anytime and I'd be happy to see her. Do you have people like that in your life? Someone you can see once or twice a year and feel like no time has passed. Someone who has zero expectations of you. Someone who simply enjoys your company. Most importantly, this is a person who brings out the best in you. That is my definition of a soulmate. This is someone who makes you bigger. Don't we all feel better when we're around people who make us stronger? People who make us become the best version of ourselves. These are your soulmates.

It is a little sad Annie is moving, but she's found love and a home in another state. My happiness for her is greater than any sadness. There is no doubt in my mind that our paths will cross again. I think that's another defining characteristic of a soulmate. They will come in and out of our lives. Ideally, we will have several of these "soulmates" throughout our lifetime. Interestingly enough, they often show up, right when we need them too. Coincidence? I think not. It's divine timing. Keep an open mind and heart. It may feel like it's the end of the world and life is getting you down, but never fear because chances are your newest soulmate is right around the corner waiting to dance.